Sad and Glad

Today I had an emotional breakdown. I was getting frustrated at work. We have had to make even more changes and today I had the biggest job all by myself. Then I was asked why it was taking so long and I was feeling frustrated. Usually I can keep to myself when I am feeling upset and I don't like to let anyone know or do any complaining. I was keeping quiet and finally we went on break. Everyone went to check their mail, so I naturally went as well. I don't usually get anything, so I wasn't expecting a letter. Amber, the mail lady, handed me an envelope addressed to me from Washington. It was my good friend Rebekah. Her letter was so encouraging and it was so refreshing to hear from her. Tears of joy began to flow. I was sitting with two other co-workers, and eventually I just had to go to my trailer. I could not hold in the tears; tears of both happiness and love and tears of frustration and built up emotion from the whole summer. It was unexplainable. Although, I am thankful that I have gone 8 strong weeks without having a breakdown. God is so good to me. There are only two weeks left of camp and Rebekah encouraged me so much. I am so blessed to have her as a friend. When I got to my trailer, Alexa and Marissa were in my room. They are so great. They heard me out and I had a good cry. I think everyone needs a good cry once in a while. I will miss those two so much. When I got to work, the rest of the night was great. I was more talkative than I usually am and everything went really well. I was in charge of the fruit - my favorite job. Also, I scrubbed and squeegeed the floor and did a lot of cleaning. My mom would be happy to know that I actually enjoy cleaning now. Then we got off early and I had an adventure around the lake with two of my roommates.

I am so thankful to God for the girls he has placed me here with. They have been such blessings to me. I am going to miss them so much!

I have much to talk about. Two weekends ago the Hall's came up to visit. It was so great to have them up here! Ryan and I hung out with them when we weren't working and had a really fun time just talking and spending time together. We got to chill at Joshua and eat some pretty good food more than once. It was refreshing to be able to spend time with them. I love them! Also, Mrs. Hall snuck me some supplies my mom sent up for Ryan's secret scavenger hunt. That's another thing I have not been able to write about. He reads my blog, and I have been planning it for the past month, but could never say anything.

I surprised Ryan on Saturday, August 1st for his 20th birthday. His birthday isn't until the end of the month, but I wanted to surprise him. I sent him on a scavenger hunt all over Hume and gave him clues and made a giant puzzle of a picture of the two of us looking out over the lake. It was so much fun to plan and try to watch him in secret as he figured out the clues. He went through the high adventure course, parts of Wagon Train, listened to my red-headed roommate sing about the security booth, did 20 pushups, got drawn on by a mime, rode a bike, had chocolate-covered strawberries, looked for a moose, and wandered around the lake in a canoe looking for me. It was so much fun, and I think he was pretty surprised, although I was afraid many things had given it away. People were telling him happy birthday before it was actually his birthday, he found my fire permit (for smores), a fellow cook almost gave it away, I told him what to bring for the day, and many others (so it seems). But thankfully, he had no idea and was surprised. Everyone who was involved was so great. People were so willing to help out. My friend, Chris, dressed up and cooked us hamburgers and curley fries, my friend Heather lent me a bunch of furniture and her tv and helped me decorate a deck behind the coffee shop so we could hang out, Alexa helped me plan and was a mime, Marissa made brownies and chocolate-covered strawberries, Snow, Jake, and Amanda ran the Pamper Poles and Rock Wall, Sbutter lent me her bike, Cheryl played her guitar and sang, Ruthie spied on Ryan for me, my mom sent up a bunch of sweet stuff, the Hall's snuck it to me, and everyone here kept a pretty good secret. Ultimately God is the one who made the day so great. We had so much fun and got to hang out just the two of us together. That is a rare occasion at a place like Hume where there are people around all the time. It was a great day.

Last night, a raccoon tried to get into our room. I saw it crawl up the stairs to our door which was wide open (for air). Ruthie and I screamed in fright and then it turned around and walked back down. It was a really fat raccoon. That was my first very close encounter with big wildlife. Tonight, I was walking along during our run/walk, and I saw a mother and baby dear about two feet away from me in the path. It made me think about bears and other wild creatures because it was getting quite dark. Thankfully, Marissa S. and Alexa caught up to me shortly after, and we finished our journey around the lake arm-in-arm so we were all less afraid. What fun.

I got to talk to my mom and Grandma today. That was really nice. I miss talking to people. I am looking forward to coming home. I am even looking forward to school starting again! I do love it up here though. There are so many great blessings here. There are blessings at home too, though, and I am excited to see everyone again. Two more weeks. Weird.

I work at 6 tomorrow morning, so I should get to sleep now. God has been so gracious to me. I gave blood last week and I just read from my paper that my hemoglobin was above 13.1! I was so excited to see that! My hemoglobin is rarely that high. Although my blood started pumping too slow and I had to stop before a full pint, I am happy to know that I am actually able to donate blood. I am excited to try it again as soon as I have the opportunity.

I pray for perseverance in these last days of work. I know it will be over all too soon. I will miss everyone a lot. God is so good.